 |
| Dark waters? |
I haven’t been able to breathe for a while.
I was holding my breath and waiting. Now the wait is over, well at least as
far as the Hardcopy program is concerned. I didn’t make the next round. I am
disappointed. I thought my proposal had merit and that my writing was strong. My
confidence has taken a knock. I questioned my commitment and wondered whether I
had been wasting my time. I have lost my motivation and excitement about the
book.
 |
| Striking images |
So I took a break from the desk to absorb
this news. I filled my writing time with other things. I visited a friend’s
farm and helped out with marking the lambs. I stayed with a couple of friends
at the beach, played cards and chatted. I went to two house-warmings. I had a
couple of lunches and walks with my family. I visited an exhibition, a new
library, the plant conservatory and a couple of markets. I sought solace in the
visual world, taking photos of these small events and posting them on my
Instagram account – my ‘just for fun’ social media platform. I avoided the
written word.
 |
| Cook books galore |
Now it is time to get back to it. I’m not
sure how I feel about getting back to the book, but I do have a new blog idea
to explore which I am very excited about. I want to write about food, cooking
and eating. I know it is a crowded space out there and I don’t have one particular
angle to push. I want to write about the whole food journey – about growing,
storing, transporting, preparing, eating and sharing it. Whether starting a new
project is a wise decision will yet be revealed. It could
be an unhelpful diversion or it could give me a gentle push back to my writing
habits.
 |
| Back to your desk! |
Part of me figures that as long as I am
writing something it is all good experience. Right now the book feels like a
heavy obligation, a stark contrast to the fun of developing a new idea. I
figure that turning up at the desk is half the battle. Once I am here then
something has to happen. At the very least a couple of bills will get paid and
I’ll do some stream of consciousness writing to check in with how I am feeling.
In reality perhaps it is that simple, just getting back to the basics of
sitting here and typing away, at least til I can get my focus back again.
 |
| New networks |
The other part of picking myself up and
dusting myself off is of course reaching out to people. Writing is a solitary
activity, but unsurprisingly weathering the ups and downs is not. I am very
grateful to the friends and family who support me and encourage me to keep
going. Without them it would be a much lonelier road. I am slowly developing a
network of other emerging writers. There is the fun of going to writing events
together, the challenge of giving and
receiving feedback on each others' work and the comfort of sharing the journey
with others who are in the same boat.
